FEATURE: Gift Wrapping Boot Camp

By MARK McLAUGHLIN
Edinburgh Evening News
13 November 2009

This was genuninely the most stressful story I've written this year. Despite an intense gift wrapping boot camp I'll still be mummifying my mum's perfume

'NOOOO!" shrieks the elegant woman as she pulls my fingers away before they and the sticky tape I'm holding can do any damage.

We are in Jenners, that grand dame of retailing in Edinburgh, and I'm brandishing a large strip of Sellotape, which could cause trouble if I was about to stick it on a designer mohair jumper, but as I'm wrapping a Christmas present, it's not the reaction I'd expect.

Mummifying my mum's bottle of perfume with Sellotape has always been part of my traditional festive build-up. I think I'd describe my method of gift- wrapping as "abstract".

Apparently, too much sticky tape isn't just a festive faux pas though, as Jane Hardie, of Jenners' gift wrapping service, explains: "One of the major sins of gift wrapping is covering your nicely folded paper in ugly strips of Sellotape."

A sin? Yikes! Well, Christmas is all about religion, I suppose, so I'd better listen up.

I'm in Jenners because the store is offering Christmas master-classes for anyone that doesn't know their bows from their baubles. The focus is firmly on all things festive and shoppers can learn how to dress the perfect dinner table, decorate the perfect tree, cook the perfect turkey, wrap a wonderful gift and how to dress to impress as the perfect host or hostess.

It seems it's the male of the species who may benefit the most from such expert advice.

"Men's lack of Christmas decoration skills probably stems from their student or bachelor days," explains Jenners' visual merchandiser Ewan Carmichael as he places an ornate golden corsage in the centre of his beautifully decorated tree.

"When you're a young guy you don't tend to bother with all the frills of Christmas as long as you've got a couple of cans of lager in the fridge, but it can pay off knowing how to spruce the place up in time for Christmas.

"It could be a chance to impress the new girlfriend and show off your sensitive side by bringing her home to a flat with a well decorated tree, a well set table and presenting her with beautifully wrapped presents."

So learning where to place my baubles could improve my pulling power? Hmmm.

But first there's that present to finish. "Gift wrapping isn't just something to throw round your presents like chip paper. They've got to sit in your living room for a couple of weeks in the run-up to Christmas so you want them to look nice," says Jane, as I learn to disguise that sinful sticky tape - double-sided is best but you can fold a piece of ordinary tape over to stick down the edges.

I didn't mention that I generally use a ready-made bow with more dreaded Sellotape when Jane moves on to the ribbon.

"I've been to crime scenes that have been less stressful," I tell Jane as I tie myself in more knots than the bow as I try to create something presentable. I think I've pulled it off.

"Beautiful," says Jane, to my visible relief - but my work is not yet done. I've got the Christmas tree to decorate now.

"Decorating the tree is not as straightforward as some people think," he tells me. Great!

"The first thing that goes on is the lights and it's important to start from the bottom and work your way up. A common mistake is starting from the top and finding that you've run out of wire half way down the tree." I want to ask what happens if you run out of wire halfway up the tree. But I don't.

"Also, the choice of lights is quite important. If you have a tree in the lounge you're not going to want dazzling flashing lights in the corner of the room as this could easily get on your nerves by the time Christmas arrives, so you might want something more subtle.

"On the other hand, if you keep your tree in the hall you might want something a bit more flashy to impress the visitors when they arrive."

Jenners has a Christmas tree starter pack for around GBP 80 that has everything you need to get your first stars and baubles on the tree, but it can take years to build up a decent collection of decorations.

"The most important thing is to personalise your tree," adds Ewan. "You don't just want an identikit tree that you would see in a shop window."

With that advice in mind I set about decorating my tree - a 6ft artificial pine.

Within half an hour my lights are twinkling, my baubles and white roses are in position and my golden corsage has pride of place at the front.

"That's not a bad job," said Ewan. "You've still got one decorative white rose left though. Perhaps you could wear it in your hair on Christmas morning?" Perhaps not, Ewan.

Christmas, Jenners-style, two-thirds done. I just had the Christmas table to tackle, which is always a challenge.

"You should always make room for everything you need at the Christmas table because the last thing you want to do in the middle of Christmas dinner is keep getting up to fetch things," said visual merchandiser Ruth Kennedy.

"This is where a centrepiece can serve a really useful purpose. Some people might think the centrepiece is just there to be decorative, but what it's actually doing is saving the space for the food to arrive.

"When the turkey is ready the centrepiece is removed and the bird and trimmings take pride of place at the centre of the table."

"Overall," she adds, "it's important to keep all of the colours matching or complimentary, with reds and greens the traditional colours of Christmas."

I get the impression my safe default attire of "all black" won't cut it as a Christmas colour scheme, which is a shame as I could have saved myself even more time by keeping the Hallowe'en decor up.

So, having invested in some festive red and green tablecloths, I'm now fully prepared for an elegant and tastefully decorated Christmas. All I need is a guest list - sadly something Jenners can't help me with.

Oh well, there's always a catch.

Top Ten Tips

1 Arrange the tree lights from the bottom up to ensure you've got enough length to reach the socket.

2 Start with the biggest tree baubles first andwork downto fill in all of the empty gaps.

3 Don't be afraid to personalise your tree with tasteful homemade baubles.

4 Have a sharp pair of scissors to hand on gift-wrapping day.

5 Size your paper first before you start to wrap.

6 Keep your folds neat andmake a quarter-inch seamon rough edges to keep them straight.

7 Use double sided or folded tape to stick your folds on the inside. Never cover your parcel in tape.

8 Use matching colour-schemes for your Christmas table-cloths and napkins.

9 Cover mismatched chairs with matching material, bows and ribbons to give them a uniform feel.

10 Create or invest in a Christmas centrepiece to put on the table